When we are children the world stretches before us
Time seems infinite
Experiences repeatable indefinitely
What is there shall always be there
Even though we are told the truth
Shown it in every form that life is finite
We cannot understand how that can be
When we, in our youth, feel invincible
As I’ve grown older more and more I feel a pull
Time wrenching from me the best moments of my life
Moments I sometimes foolishly try to recreate
Leaving only empty echoes of memories
Memories that I cannot hope to live up to
By their simple recall they grow fonder
Tinted rose colored by nostalgia
So every new moment I spend
Grasping for what was
For a life irreparably changed
Desperately trying to learn, to grow
Break free from the constraints of what used to be
Longing for what can never be again
While also understanding I have to move forward
Knowing that there is no sense to these changes
But that I must still sort it out
Put it in its place, color it with my emotions
Understand who I am in its context and be that man
Moving forward while dragging behind the past
Unable to let go of the best times
For what might still be better times
Clouded by anxiety of what could be
Feeling my mortality closing in on me
Watching my children slip away as they age and grow beyond me
Knowing that every time they rush to me arms outstretched
Screaming with joy “Daddy”
That this could be the last time
Knowing eventually it will be
Because they too must grow and change
Their childhoods snatched from them by time
Change is immutable and real
Unmovable and cruel in its desire to move us beyond
To destroy what we know and love
And in that movement to constantly remake us
To grow, to change
All while grasping at a past
That we shall never experience again
